A tricked out name tag

I was watching the noon news and saw, for the umpteenth time, a commercial for an insurance company which says they compare their prices to those of other insurance companies. They show an example of what someone saved, with more than two hundred dollars between the price from the advertiser's company and the nearest competitor. The woman on the ad says "That's a new pair of shoes." A new pair of *shoes*? Actual human beings pay more than two hundred bucks for a pair of friggin' shoes? I know, I know. I'm not your average fashion plate, but paying that kind of money for anything that you wear just to impress other people is, well, stupid. And, frankly, obscene.

Sometimes people are really cool

I've been working on my genealogy site and trying to find some more information. Every once in a while, I just toss in a relative's or ancestor's name into a Google search to see what comes up. It's pretty surprising what you can find

A couple of weeks ago, I entered the name of a cousin of my father, whose maiden name was Areta Wolters. I was surprised to get a hit at all. A woman had posted a message back in 2003, saying that she had picked up a baby book in an antique store that had belonged to Areta. She was looking for relatives who would be able to "give it a good home."

I wrote to her and, after she verified that I really am one of Areta's relatives, offered to send it to me. She wouldn't take any money to reimburse her for either the original cost of the book or the shipping. She said that all she wanted was to get it to where it should be.

It came in the mail yesterday. It's just great to see all the names of people that I know so well and more pictures to identify. Mostly, though, it's nice to get reassurance that there really are cool people in the world who are willing to give of themselves while asking nothing in return.

Come into the world alone?

A couple of days ago I was watching some movie and there was the line that we've all heard dozens of times: "You come into the world alone and you leave it alone." Really? Has anyone since Adam and Eve (if you believe that sort of thing) actually come into the world without someone else being in the general vicinity? Am I the only person who had a mother present at her birth? I kinda don't think so.

As for leaving it alone, there are a lot of people that do that, but not everybody by a long shot.

The silliest things bother me. :)

It's all a matter of perspective

Yesterday being the fourth of July, there were some human interest-type stories on the Today Show dealing with the revolution. One of them reminded me of a little funny that happened the first time I went to London.

I had a day completely on my own, which was great. I bought a pass to one of those open-on-the-top tour buses and rode around the city, getting off and on at various places that I wanted to visit. On one pass through the city, I passed by a row house with a little blue sign on it that said that Benedict Arnold had lived there. (Research tells me the address is 62 Gloucester Place, Marylebone.) There was a line on the sign that I was certain I had misread it, so I took another trip around the city to come up to it again. Sure enough. Included on the sign was a description of Benedict Arnold as "American Patriot." :-)

I wonder what the reasoning behind this is. To be sure, Benedict Arnold was a patriotic American revolutionary at the beginning of the war. As a general, he successfully lead his troops against the British at Saratoga and Quebec. Maybe they were just focusing on his early career.

Or maybe they are using the term "patriot" to refer to the fact that his patriotism changed to a different type later on, when he offered to hand over West Point to the British for £20,300 and a brigadier's commission. Had his co-conspirator not been found and hanged, the plot would have succeeded and it's likely the revolution would have failed. Arnold did continue to fight in the war, on the side of the British. This would make him a patriot to the British cause and an American by virtue of where he was born and lived.

For those who may not know, the term "Benedict Arnold" in the US is equavalent to the term "traitor." Calling someone a "Benedict Arnold" is exactly the same as calling them a "Quisling." Can you imagine how people would react if Quisling was referred to as a "Norwegian Patriot" somewhere in Germany?

I just think the sign is humorous. It is one of those instances where just a little research might have done some good, though. Maybe "American revolutionary" would have worked better.

BTW, the Today Show segment was about the great-great-great grandson of Benedict Arnold.

Moving day

I thought I'd start a new blog and maybe actually update it occasionally instead of the Wordpress one I created and ignored. Silly, I guess to start it now since I'll be going into the hospital in a few days, but maybe it'll give me something to think about doing when I get home again.

Not So Blue After All

There is an image that those of us who live on the "left coast" of the US are more liberal than the rest -- or at least the center -- of the country. Today the Washington State Supreme Court proved that the image is not necessarily the way things are.

In 1998 Washington state passed its own version of the "Defense of Marriage Act," the only point of which was to prevent gay and lesbian couples from making a legal commitment to each other. Nineteen couples brought suit against the state legislature, saying that they were being discriminated against by being forbidden the legal right to marry whomever they choose, a right which heterosexual couples enjoy. The decision of the court was made public today.
In the majority decision, Justice Barbara Madsen wrote that the state's marriage law was enacted to "promote procreation and to encourage stable families." That's all that marriage is for? Then why is it legal for me to be married to Jim? I'd had a tubal ligation before he and I got married, so no procreation was possible and the only family we have that can be stable is the two of us.

The most amazing quote I've read so far is the following:

"The basic decision came down to the fact that the Supreme Court felt that by limiting marriage to opposite sex, they sustained the ability to procreate," said Gary Randall, president of the Faith & Freedom Network in Bellevue. "

Excuse me? If the court had ruled that same-sex couples could marry, how would that in any way impact the ability to procreate, either by any individual or by society as a whole? I do believe that ranks with the very top stupid statements of all time.

Another quote from the Seattle Post-Intelligencer:

Attorneys for the state and King County -- as well as a group of state lawmakers and religious leaders opposing same-sex marriage -- argued that the question of who can marry should be left to the Legislature.
They said lawmakers had a rational reason for limiting marriage to people of the opposite sex: Only those couples are biologically capable of having children, and keeping them together is generally best for those children.

So then only couples who are biologically capable of having children should be allowed to marry. That is what they're saying. Forget requiring a Wasserman test before getting a marriage license. If this is the criterion for being allowed to get married, they should require a fertility test.

I really think that those who support the rights of everyone to get married to whomever they wish ought to propose such a bill in the state legislature, just to show how stupid the whole thing is.

Hmmmm. I think I may need to write to my state representatives.

Sometimes I Just Have to Talk About It

I don't usually post about my experience of grief. It's depressing for other people to read and I hate it when people feel sorry for me. I'm also very conscious of seeming to be Ms. Grief Expert. From early on, I thought about the Beatles song "She Said, She Said":

She said I know what it's like to be dead
I know what it is to be sad
And she's making me feel like I've never been born

I always felt sorry for Lennon and wasn't too thrilled with Peter Fonda (about whom the song is said to have been written), for making John feel that way. Now I find that I may be in Peter's shoes.

The fact is, though, missing Nicki is a part of my life every day and I've accepted that it is. Most of the time talking about it doesn't do much good and only brings stuff to the fore that would be better off left in the background. Still, every once in a while there's things that I need to say.

I had a conversation the other day in which I mentioned using other things to "fill the void" left in my life when Nicki died. I've been thinking of that phrase and, more specifically, of the void itself. There was a rather strange thing that happened in the first weeks and months after she died. Everybody has seen the cartoons where the bad critter is chasing the good critter and the good critter gets a cannon and shoots at the bad critter. The cannon ball goes right through the baddie's body, leaving a hole, but it doesn't kill the baddie and in the next shot, the baddie is all back together again. That's what losing Nicki felt like, except for the getting back together again. Having a physical hole in the middle of my body. Or, like Oz said to Willow on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, " I miss you. Like, every second. Almost like I lost an arm, or worse, a torso." Yeah. That says it.

Nicki died in December, so even in southern California where we lived at the time, it was pretty chilly outside. When I would go out, it was like I could feel the cold wind blowing right through that hole in my torso. My mind told me it was impossible to experience that, but that's how it felt. I guess over the years, it has eased a bit. The wound is not so raw any more, but the hole is still there, gaping and obvious. I keep trying to cram it with other stuff, just to keep the wind from blowing through, shoving wadded up newspaper into the corners because nothing is truly Nicki-shaped and I have to make do. Whatever I use is a poor substitute, but I will take whatever I can get and I might get just a bit testy when I feel that it's threatened.

I really hope I haven't made anyone feel like they've never been born. Not my intention.